Nic-Anon
Current mood: exanimate
I am tired of being irritated all the time.
I quit smoking one year, one month and eleven days ago.
Since quitting, I have gained weight, can't breathe, don't exercise and am cranky, really, really cranky. Moody, mean and anti-social are other other words to describe me. All the time.
I'm thinking of quitting quitting.
I spent the weekend in Palm Desert with my sister, her roommate, and our cousin. I thought we had a great time; my sister said I was mean to her for no reason. She demands, I snap. We had a huge fight via Mom, text messages and a family conference call. We agreed to stop torturing each other and not hang out. I cried for 24 hours.
My eyes were so puffy for two days that I couldn't wear makeup.
It doesn't seem like not smoking has been good for me. To smoke or not to smoke? Last time I quit I went crazy. This time I've been less crazy, but I'm not happy. Not. At. All.
So Mom suggested I try Nicotine Anonymos. I've tried 12-step programs before, but they were always about someone else. Al-Anon, CODA, those were about my relationships with people. Now I'm interested in myself.
So I go to my first Nic-Anon meeting tonight. There were two other people there. They still smoke. I got a chip for not smoking for one year, one month and eleven days. They are impressed with me. I'm the expert and they want to know how I did it.
How I did it? I didn't mean to and I am seriously considering smoking again because I don't see the benefit of not smoking. Except I know it's better for me.
And I'm just going to have to learn how to be nice. I think emphezema might be easier.
I am tired of being irritated all the time.
I quit smoking one year, one month and eleven days ago.
Since quitting, I have gained weight, can't breathe, don't exercise and am cranky, really, really cranky. Moody, mean and anti-social are other other words to describe me. All the time.
I'm thinking of quitting quitting.
I spent the weekend in Palm Desert with my sister, her roommate, and our cousin. I thought we had a great time; my sister said I was mean to her for no reason. She demands, I snap. We had a huge fight via Mom, text messages and a family conference call. We agreed to stop torturing each other and not hang out. I cried for 24 hours.
My eyes were so puffy for two days that I couldn't wear makeup.
It doesn't seem like not smoking has been good for me. To smoke or not to smoke? Last time I quit I went crazy. This time I've been less crazy, but I'm not happy. Not. At. All.
So Mom suggested I try Nicotine Anonymos. I've tried 12-step programs before, but they were always about someone else. Al-Anon, CODA, those were about my relationships with people. Now I'm interested in myself.
So I go to my first Nic-Anon meeting tonight. There were two other people there. They still smoke. I got a chip for not smoking for one year, one month and eleven days. They are impressed with me. I'm the expert and they want to know how I did it.
How I did it? I didn't mean to and I am seriously considering smoking again because I don't see the benefit of not smoking. Except I know it's better for me.
And I'm just going to have to learn how to be nice. I think emphezema might be easier.
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