Yes, I know I have glitter on my face.

Me: I need a purse. A pink purse. With a flower. F: I am leaving for the airport in the morning. I don't have time to go shopping before that. Me: I need a pink purse with a flower. F: I really don't have time to go shopping before the plane leaves. Me: I have every confidence that you can make this happen. Fast forward one hour and several texted pictures of purses... F: I got your purse. Two purses, actually. Me: I knew you could do it. F: You have no idea what it took. Everything is closing here and I had to leave the office and run fifteen minutes to the purse store. They were closed, so I had to bang on the glass and ask them to open. The girl said no, but the owner came out. I had to agree to pay with my American credit card before he would open the door. Then he let me in and I had to look at all of these purses. Do you know how many purses there were? And none of them were pink with a flower! Me: But you got two.

My mother, the IDL (Irish Dragon Lady), when asked where she wanted to go for dinner, replied, "To the place with the white bowls." Me: What place with the white bowls? IDL: The place with the white bowls. Me: Do you know what was in the bowls? IDL: The stuff. Me: Do you know what kind of cuisine was in the white bowls? IDL: No. You know, the white bowls. Me: Mom, I really don't know what you are talking about. IDL: The place with the white bowls on the side. Me: Oh! The Japanese place that has salads in the white bowls? IDL: Yes. That's what I said.